Thursday, July 7, 2016

just a little YouTube rant

recently, i was in MD visiting my family. my cousin, Christy, started YouTubing recently & i think she's done very well for someone who's just starting their own channel. her father asked me why don't i make videos. i do. my grandma told me that Christy makes videos. i know. Christy, Dalena, & i used to make YouTube videos together on a channel called cherryblossoms4444. that channel is long gone, & at some point, i created my own channel- eveepink1. my oldest video on my channel is from 6 years ago, meaning i've been doing YouTube for more than 6 years. 

i guess i never really felt the need for my family to see my videos bc it might be a little bit weird, but now, i feel under acknowledged. i make videos for fun, not for money. i make them mostly for me, so i can look back on my vlogs, my trips, my life. but hearing my family act like Christy's doing something so cool even though i've been doing it for years just makes me feel blah. & then the kind of feedback i hear from my friends & family, even if they're just joking, hurts. 

"these videos are so boring." 
"why would i watch your ugly vlogs?" 
"this is so low quality." 
"i don't like vlogs."
"hurry up & upload your video, you take forever."

my videos are sometimes shot w my sucky iphone 5 or w my nikon. my phone is just more convenient & less heavy. i don't have time for a professional set-up w a tripod & perfect focus on me.  i don't have some fancy & professional software or program to edit w- i use movie maker. i do my best w what i have. my videos are mostly vlogs bc i want to keep track of my life. i don't do many "professional YouTube videos" bc i don't like sitting in front of the camera, talking about certain mainstream & popular topics, or anything like that. my videos are like montages & collections of bits & pieces of things that i've recorded. that's how i do my videos. & who are you to judge the kind of videos i make? or to judge the quality of my videos? i see people on YouTube who upload videos months later bc they're too lazy to edit, or don't edit at all- they just put up a whole one shot video. 

me, i edit ASAP. right after i got back from myrtle beach, i stayed up until 4 AM editing & uploaded the Punk Challenge video that i promised to upload once i was back. i edited 5 videos/days/parts of my myrtle beach vlogs in 2 days. i edit fast, i edit right away, i get things up as soon as possible. my week vlogs are from sunday to saturday & i usually upload them around 1-4 AM after saturday ends/ sunday starts. most people do NOT do this. i put so much time & dedication & commitment into my YouTube just to feel bad about myself when i see better editing software, better lighting, better set up, better video topics, more subscribers, more views, etc. 

i never cared about this stuff until people started getting on my back about my videos. i just want to do things the way i want to do them. i do not need to get dressed up & look nice for my videos, i do not need to do any fancy set up & find better lighting & sound & whatever. i do not need to have the highest quality video. i do not need to watch the top YouTube videos to think of video topics that will get the most views. i do not need to upload on certain days. i do not need to do anything. trying to do all of these things will burn me out. i upload a lot & fast bc it's something i love to do. editing & uploading started warping into something that makes me feel unsuccessful & like a failure bc of people who keep trying to make my channel into something it's not. it's never gonna be a professional type of channel bc that's not who i am. it takes all of the fun & love out of making videos. 

all i have left to say is if you think my videos are boring, or don't like the videos that i make, DON'T WATCH. i honestly could care less. YouTube is my fun little outlet & i've been in love w editing since middle school. i refuse to let anyone take that away from me. so if you don't have anything positive or helpful to say, don't say it at all, don't watch me at all, just don't.

but for those of you who DO watch my videos & give positive feedback & comments & support, thank you so much. you do not know how much i appreciate it. every nice comment i get on my videos makes my day. i hope my subscribers will continue to watch my videos & enjoy them. i love you guys. i'll see ya when i see ya. 

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